


Never The Easy Thing

by RavenTao



Series: Love Hurts [1]
Category: Kuroko no Basuke | Kuroko's Basketball
Genre: Break Up, Crying, Depression, Heartbreak, M/M, Sad, Song Lyrics, Songfic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-10-20
Updated: 2014-10-20
Packaged: 2018-02-21 22:41:35
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,748
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2484890
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RavenTao/pseuds/RavenTao
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Kuroko knows he is hopelessly in love with Aomine, but he also knows that Aomine is slowly falling out of love with him. The right thing to do is rarely the easy thing. It is also, most times, more painful than keeping up with the lie. - Centered around the song Clarity by Zedd.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Never The Easy Thing

He knew that he couldn't keep it up. Each glance, each kiss, each night slowly killed him. He loved him so much and yet he knew that the sentiment was slowly fading from being reciprocated.

Each time his name was called in the melodic voice. Each time he thought about him. Each time, each time, each and every damn time he was slipping from that precarious place.

He was having a hard time justifying it anymore. A hard time convincing the others that it really was nothing when he showed up to practice with a new bruise or mark left behind from those nights. When he would periodically start crying when he was by himself. Because it hurt.

Each game.

Each time he saw him.

Every time.

Things were so great when it had started out. When they were still in love When they were both young and innocent. When they were still getting used to each other. When they didn't know anything about themselves or the ways of the cruel world around them.

 

_High dive into frozen waves where the past comes back to life_

_Fight fear for the selfish pain, it was worth it every time_

_Hold still right before we crash 'cause we both know how this ends_

_A clock ticks 'til it breaks your glass and I drown in you again_

 

“Tetsu.”

That was all it ever took. Never any more or less. They both knew what it meant.

Kuroko turned his head. He was adamant that this time would be different. That this time he wouldn’t fall victim to Aomine’s alluring voice. To his magnificent body. To his seductive charm and skills. To those smoldering eyes and lusty lips and beautiful bronze skin. He mentally cursed. Don’t think about all that. Don’t picture his toned chest rubbing against yours. Don’t think about the feel of your wet bodies hard against each other, his lips on yours. His mouth going down on you while you scream til your lungs and throat are raw. The pleasant sting of entry as he takes you dry and without preparation because he knows you can take it. How much you love how he abuses you so … well that wasn't working.

The bruises should be reason enough to leave. And yet he couldn't do it. Sometimes Aomine was too rough, not that Kuroko was complaining at the time.

“Tetsu.” The tone warning now. Aomine Daiki had never needed to ask more than once. It hurt to think of leaving him. He didn't want to leave him.

He had to though. Things were starting to take a turn for the worse. He loved Daiki. With all of his heart. With everything that was left of his soul and physical being.

He truly loved Aomine Daiki. Which was why in that moment before Aomine walked over and took him by the arm to tell him to listen, he bolted.

 

_'Cause you are the piece of me I wish I didn't need_

_Chasing relentlessly, still fight and I don't know why_

 

“Oi, Kuroko, is everything okay?” Kagami asked when he found him later at Maji burger, his signature vanilla shake virtually untouched as he stared off out the window. Kuroko slumped at first and then started to tear up. Small little beads of bitter salt water formed at the corner of his eyes as he turned to face Kagami, his usual poker face slipping.

Falling.

Corroding.

Breaking.

As was he.

As the tears began to grow larger and the weight of his decision weighed down on him, Kuroko began to sob. He folded his arms on the table and buried his face in them. Daiki made him feel safe. Loved. Wanted. Noticed. Important. Needed. Seen. No one in the world was more important to him than Aomine Daiki and nothing could change that.

Which made walking away so much harder.

“K-Kuroko?” Kagami asked again.

“I don’t want to.” Kuroko sobbed. His school jacket getting wet with tears and snot. By this point Kagami was out of his depth. He had never seen more than a hint of a fleeting smile  in those clear blue eyes, and here he was, crying.

“Don’t want to what?” But he would try.

“I don’t want to leave. I can’t leave.” he tried to stop crying, to keep from causing a scene, a deep shaky breath escaped his lips before he managed to mumble out a final; “But I have to.”

“Leave? Wait, you’re not leaving the team are you?!” Suddenly Kagami began to panic, completely missing the head shake Kuroko had given him in answer.

“Not basketball.”

Kagami settled after that, glad that his shadow wasn't leaving him.

“Though, I should.” Kuroko mumbled.

And it all started up again.

 

_If our love is tragedy, why are you my remedy?_

_If our love's insanity, why are you my clarity?_

 

He sat up all that night trying to come up with a good enough reason to leave. He could lie and say he didn't love him anymore, but Daiki could always read him like an open book. He always knew when he was lying. Best to be blunt. Just to say it out right.

“I’m leaving.” … two words that felt like they weighed a million pounds and made his throat close up so he couldn't breath. He couldn't do it. Just thinking about it hurt. He had rejected three calls already, not to mention the half dozen texts. Why couldn't he just leave him alone tonight?

 

_Walk on through a red parade and refuse to make amends_

_It cuts deep through our ground and makes us forget all common sense_

_Don't speak as I try to leave 'cause we both know what we'll choose_

_If you pull then I'll push too deep and I'll fall right back to you_

 

That day it was cold. Cold and dreary, and damp, and cloudy and just all around miserable. Kuroko looked up to the sky as he waited in the park for Aomine. A simple text; “Come to the park at 2:00 Sunday afternoon. We need to talk.” the message itself took Kuroko an hour to write and then another two to send. He had bags under his eyes from not enough sleep the past week, and had Kagami not forced something down his throat the day before at lunch, he’d have been hard pressed to say when the last time he’d eaten was. The right thing to do was hardly ever the easy thing. So when it started to rain, Kuroko honestly couldn’t find it in him to be upset. The weather matched his melancholy heart, and he wondered how in the world everything had wound up so cliched. A break up in the park in the rain. He wanted to laugh and cry at the same time.

As time passed him by, and hours later 2:15 rolled by, he was soaked to the bone and he could hardly feel the hand on his shoulder.

“Oi, Tetsu, you’re all wet, how the hell long have you been waiting here?”

“Since 11:00.” he mumbled quietly.

“If you had wanted to meet up earlier you should have said so.” Daiki frowned as he shrugged off his jacket to put around Kuroko who only shook his head and pushed the offered coat away.

“Please don’t.” Kuroko’s shoulders shook and if it was from the silent tears that had long since dried up, or the cold he wasn't sure. What he was about to say already hurt and he felt the hole forming as he worked up the courage to say it.

“You’re gonna get sick Tetsu, at least take the jacket.”

“Aomine kun.” He didn't turn around to face him, couldn't turn around and face him. “Please don’t object to what I’m about to say.”

“When you say stuff like that it makes me think that I will.” he paused. “Why the hell have you been ignoring me lately?”

A sigh. Now that he had the chance to say it, every time his mouth opened nothing came out. “I want to break up.” He finally managed to get out. His voice cracking and his throat dry and scratchy.

“Wh-what?” Aomine was stunned.

“Please don’t object. Just say yes.” Kuroko could feel the sensation of wanting to cry but knew that he had exhausted his supply of tears long ago as a quiet sob wracked his small body.

“Tetsu! I don’t understand, why do you want to break up?! Aren't I good to you? Don’t you love me? Tetsu!” he reached out to touch him but Kuroko jerked away.

“Please don’t say such things Aomine kun. It was hard enough, I-” and somehow he started crying again. He didn't know where it came from. “Of course I love you. It’s because I love you that I want to break up.”

“You’re making no sense!”

“Please stop Aomine kun. I need to do this and if you keep pushing I’ll lose my resolve.” he clenched his wet shirt above his heart and turned to face Aomine. “It hurts. I love you so much Aomine kun. I will always love you, but I can’t keep this up. I have thought about this extensively. We've been through a lot, and you keep on getting farther and farther away from me. You say you love me, but I can seen in your eyes that you’re merely standing on ceremony for my sake.” He had to take a breath here. “I've been hoping and praying that I was wrong, but lately … when you say you love me, it doesn't reach your eyes and it pains me to know that you’re keeping this thing between us just for me.” The entire time Aomine had been quiet.

“That’s not-”

“Don’t say it’s not true Daiki. Please don’t say you love me, because I know that I love you, and I know that right now I am doing the right thing, but if you tell me that you love me right now, we’ll be trapped in this mistake until one of us breaks.” Kuroko turned on his heel and started to walk away. “and I’m sure it won’t be you.” he added before taking off for who knew where.

 

_'Cause you are the piece of me I wish I didn't need_

_Chasing relentlessly, still fight and I don't know why_

_If our love is tragedy, why are you my remedy?_

_If our love's insanity, why are you my clarity?_

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> Alright, so, tell me if you liked it, hated it, cried, laughed. Whatever.
> 
> I love feedback so feel free to review~!
> 
> ~ RavenTao


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